CenTexTri In Austin

Okay, so we woke up early this am and got out of the house by 830am. We headed downtown to Lake LadyBird to watch the CenTex Triathlon. We had a great time. We watched few waves of the swimmers start. It was a treading water start. I don't know how i would like that. Then we moved over and watched the swimmers coming out of the water. Everyone looked good and strong. Then we went over and watched the runners. It atmosphere was exciting and inspiring. I have two more weeks of training for the big day. I am still wigging out about what i a going to wear and what i am going to do about my bra. I know i can finish. I am just nervous. ... oh my nerves

on the way home from work..

I was driving home tonight and I this amazing rainbow. The picture doesn't do it justice. It was was a sign to me, that things are going to be okay.

we all had a very good day

Today started 45 minutes earlier then usual. I got some stuff done around the house and headed out for a walk with the baby (oops), i mean Nicolo, my 2 year old. He already at breakfast but i brought some cereal and water and stuck him in the Buggaboo and headed out the door. The weather was fabulous and refreshing. There was a slight breeze and a beautiful blue sky. We came home and headed to HEB for a few things. We had lunch and Nicolo went in for a nap. Expecting arguing from my older son when he got home when i asked him to do work. I sat on the couch and started to read. I had 45 minutes to myself. I ended up dosing . Massimo came home and he was in a decent mood. He did some work and changed into his swim trunks with minimal argument. I was sooo excited. We went swimming. Met Kerman at the gym. Came home made a quick dinner and now sitting on the couch waiting for bed. Oh i forgot to mention my oldest son ran 1/2 mile! can you believe it? i was so happy.

I just want to say I'm THANKFUL.

I was trying to catch up an emails tonight and came across an email from my husband's fraternity web ring. One his brother's daughters is undergoing tests for Krabbe. I never heard of it. I goggled and just felt horrible. I couldn't imagine what life would be like. It's hard enough with a sick mother. But to loose a child. WOW. I am going to say a prayer for him and his family. Especially his daughter. I want to thank GOD for my healthy children.

Simulation Trianing Pedal Hard at Mellow Johnny's in Austin, Texas

Okay, so this evening i headed downtown to Mellow Johnny's to ride the simulation Danskin course. It was a great ride and a really good experience. Everyone in the shop was super helpful and excited that we were doing the Danskin. I didn't know what to expect so i didn't have any goals. I knew how long the course was,but didn't know about the hills, except what i heard at the REI class. I got on my bike and started riding. 11.49 miles. The pro there was talking about gears and i told him i wasn't good at working the gears and he helped me along. He told me where i should keep my watts and how i should maximize my energy so i am consistent the entire time and not have these blasts of energy. So i did it, 1 hour and 14 minutes, average about 10 miles an hour. Consistency in maintaining my watts and i wasn't even spent. My HR was about 120- 130 the entire time. I did really well and it gave me the courage to keep going. I am getting excited. I got a great video which i am going to add so you can get excited too. I still an trying to work on doing bricks , this has been the hardest thing. My diet has also been slacking. My goal is to stay focused the next months and achieve my goals. Motivational videos.. let's go you ROCK!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nET5KJk-Wzw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E9miwR-Ajk

I don't understand my family sometimes and it frustrates me to no end..

This morning i woke up with big plans. Plans to take time for me and and to have a good work out. As i do every morning i called my family in NY to say Good Morning. This morning when I called, I spoke with my dad. He told me my mom was blow drying her hair. I thought that was good and told him to call me when they get back from the oncologist. It was about 5 minutes later my mother called. We made small talk at first and then she started talking and crying to me. Crying about the pain she is in, crying about how here life is so different and crying how she has be come incapacitated compared to what she use to do. She can't do the minimum she use to do as far as cleaning a house or errands. And, if you knew my mom she lives for this. A day with out doing two loads of laundry was a day wasted. The laundry basket was never full in our house. My mom is the laundry queen. She was crying because she can't do. I told her to ask for help and she told me my father, sister and brother think this is all a big joke. My sister lives in her own house with her husband and still brings her laundry to my parents house to do. She still eats over there 4 or more times a week- all because she doesn't want to get her house dirty. I have been telling my mom for a year now to not to do her laundry and she doesn't listen to me. My mother told me she finally told my sister she wasn't going to do her laundry any more. I told her good. I was also upset about the fact that my sister told my mom she would come over and help her blow dry her hair and she didn't show up. I don't know why my sister is unreliable. Don't know how that happened. It makes me sad. My mom also said when she starts the chemo she is going to take the house off the market because she can't keep it clean and she is upset that my dad won't do anything to help it sell. SHe says people walk in and they walk out and she doesn't know why. It is upsetting because she really wants it to sell so she can by a new house here in Texas. Then she started talking about the pain, the pain and the inability to care for herself. She complained that she can't sleep and that she is so scared of how bad everything is going to hurt when it gets worse. I listened and wanted sooo much to be there for her and i couldn't i was over 2000 miles away and i dont' have the resources to go there. I told her to hand in there. I hung up the phone and was really upset. I called my husband and cried to him. I cried about how my brother, sister and father are just not dealing with this and they don't help my mom. I tried to text them and no one texted me back. I called my brother and he answered his cell phone and he was at work. I told him, when are you guys gonna wake up a realize she is not going to get better and to start helping her out. I don't know what she has to do to show you she has stage four metastatic breast cancer. You don't get better from this. You get worse and you die. They need to get up and help her. Stop joking it is real. I think my brother finally heard me. My sister hasn't called me back. I went for a walk and felt a hole in my heart. I walked in my neighborhood and thought about the walks she took with the kids. I got teary eyed. I came home and still felt like i needed to do something, so i mowed the yard. Still, not happy with everything, i went for a mani and pedi. Did i mention before the walk i made a pot of sauce? It was a weird day. A hard day for me. All i want to do i cry. Cry, because i have no control over the fact that my mom has breast cancer and despite everything we are doing, it isn't going to get better. My mom has decided to go through another round of chemo. She went for another biospy and this time there wasn't enough to tell them if there were hormone positive receptors or not. Why is this important? Because it helps with choosing chemo's. The doctor seems to think that even though her inital biopsy said her hormone receptors were postive and she took the pills that were hormone positive the cancer spread. My mom had two biposy each and adventure in pain and discomfort. And, for this one to come back inconclusive, is just a huge blow. I wish she didnt have to suffer.